We should never deny our or others feelings. People will forget what you have said to them, but they never forget how you made them feel. And getting control of our feelings or emotional state is not a matter of subduing feeling. The contrary is true. The more we engage in our emotional life, the stronger and more important it becomes. If our emotional engagement is mostly self-pity and despair that is not good–but the danger comes when our engagement in these emotions seems uncontrollable. Be kind to yourself; let yourself feel these emotions. The greatest danger is thinking that these emotions are not real. They are real.
What I mean here is to not deny your harmful/destructive states as much as you do not deny your positive/constructive states. Engage in your emotions–the greatest of this gift manifests itself in a rainbow of colours and light that under-pin all the life and energy that we perceive as real–and it is real. Engage in that powerful dance of light/energy/vibration that is contained in the several trillion cells that make up your body and even the quantum light/energy/matter of each swirling molecular particle wrapped in our skin.